Jokes

What's a pirate's favorite letter? [wait for them to say "ARRRRR"] Aye, you'd think that - but his first love was the sea.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. He's not going to come.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take him for a drag?

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What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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What do you call a cow with two legs shorter than the others? lean beef

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Why do they say "amen" instead of "awoman" at the end of church songs? Because they're "hymns"... not "hers"

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Nothing starts with an N and ends with a G.

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I found a book at the book store titled "How to solve 50% of your problems". I bought two of them

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I'm not wearing my glasses anymore. I've seen enough.

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I had to fire the guy that mows my lawn. He just didn't cut it.